2016-17 NBA FAN REPORT

The NBA has changed a whole lot in the past year.

LeBron James became a Cleveland champion. The Philadelphia 76ers are embracing the Process. European big men are a hotter buy than Moonlight tickets right now. Kevin Durant is a snake.

Last season, I chronicled my completely unscientific ranking of the NBA's 30 best fanbases, based off gut feelings, attendance ratings and personal anecdotal evidence. I thought I had a good grip on this stuff but, exactly one year later, I had to re-organize some groups whose true colors are showing (for good and bad).

For one, OKC fans are really sticking with this Thunder team (thanks, Westbrook!) The Rockets are getting out of hand with James Harden playing guard. The Jazz (!) are going to make the playoffs. The Lakers still suck, and Kobe's gone, but their jerseys still sell like hot cakes.

Just like last year, everything is off the top of the dome, so if you got beef, let me know.

THE LIST

30. Brooklyn Nets. The Nets are expansion-level bad, play in a city where all basketball attention is focused on the recalcitrant Knicks and have surrendered what little future they had to the Boston Celtics. Whoopsies! No wonder why people don't watch them: they're the New York Clippers.

29. Atlanta Hawks. To be a cultural observer in Georgia is to be a racial observer in Georgia. The only white Atlanta Hawks fan I know is Craig Sager's daughter (a killer Twitter follow). The sad part? She's the only white Atlanta Hawks fan she knows. White Georgians don't follow basketball; black Georgians watch other NBA teams; the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead. The NBA has too much invested in Atlanta with Grant Hill as the owner and Turner managing NBA TV, so the Hawks will never move.

28. New Orleans Pelicans. I said this last year, and it warrants screening again: New Orleans and Louisiana have time for only one sport and that's football. If the Pelicans want to make noise, they have to...well, try and be good. (I am skeptical about DeMarcus Cousins.)

27. Charlotte Hornets. The Hornets are abysmal and as anonymous as they were as the Bobcats. Kemba Walker, a newly minted All-Star, is fun as hell to watch.

26. Milwaukee Bucks. The Bucks are abysmal and as anonymous as they were 10 years ago. Giannis Antetokounmpo, a newly minted All-Star, is fun as hell to watch. (The Wisconsin basketball team is probably more popular, and less racially ingratiating, as today's NBA is for Wisconsinites.)

25. Detroit Pistons. Michigan has always, for racial and sociocultural reasons, been hot and cold on the NBA. They're frozen on the NBA right now. (Will that be amended by moving with the more socially palatable Red Wings downtown?)

24. Indiana Pacers. Indiana has always, for racial and sociocultural reasons, been hot and cold on the NBA. They're lukewarm on the NBA right now. (Will that be amended by trading Paul George, the last good star the team has had since Reggie Miller left?)

23. Minnesota Timberwolves. Minnesota has never been truly warm on the NBA, but not for racial or sociocultural reasons like Milwaukee, Detroit or Indiana. They just suck. Thirteen consecutive years without a playoff berth, and nobody will care if they're thugs or angels -- they just don't win. The future is bright, however.

22. Washington Wizards. D.C. is transient. The Redskins are the word of D.C. sports. The Nationals have sped to second place. The Capitals routinely outdraw the Wizards with a more receptive crowd. The Wizards call their arena, Verizon Center, "The Phone Booth" -- yeah, for good reason. Nothing here to latch onto.

21. Philadelphia 76ers. Philadelphia has always had racial animus to the NBA's existence. A few black Philly sports stars have been embraced by the fans. Most have been Sixers: Dr. J; Moses Malone; Chocolate Thunder, RIP; Allen Iverson. Will Joel Embiid be next? In a town where they get outdrawn by the NHL's Flyers, they've managed to climb back into Philadelphia sports relevance.

20. Los Angeles Clippers. The Verizon Center "Phone Booth" can be replaced with Staples Center's "The Office" for the level of mind-numbing, sterile quality of fan interaction with the Clippers themselves. They're arguably the only NBA team with a winning record that can have the Staples Center overrun with Spurs (!) fans.

19. Orlando Magic. Orlando once boasted "the best fans in the NBA." I don't even think they have the best fans in Florida now. People around the Central Florida area still love their Magic, but happier days have existed and maybe happier days will come again.

18. Denver Nuggets. The Clippers and Nuggets hold the record for fan sterility, in my opinion. The Nuggets are super neutral, much like the Colorado Rockies in baseball: there's no real digestable fan culture. Their 2000s rise was racially toxic, with malcontents such as Carmelo Anthony and JR Smith turning off the safe, white fanbase. They also play uphill with how popular the Broncos are and can even get overrun by the Avalanche at the box office -- as our president would say, "Sad!"

17. Houston Rockets. Houston is not a great sports town. The Rockets are fun, as any Mike D'Antoni team with competent management is (why is it that the coastal teams are incompetent?) but the seats are still empty and always will be empty. Houston's very corporate, just like any city in America, but its most egregious corporatization shows when Astro and Rocket seats are acres of emptiness.

16. Memphis Grizzlies. It's a basketball town and in the postseason, Memphians put it upon themselves to make the FedExForum hell for any visiting opponent. However, two major sketch-outs for me: there are a lot of empty seats in the regular season (though they're gonna win 48-53 games again) and they're one of only two American teams (Utah) to not release season ratings to the public. Is it surface level fandom, or is the Memphis Tiger brand a lot stronger than I thought?

15. Phoenix Suns. The Suns are "averaging" around 17,000 fans a night. But every sports team greases attendance figures -- not sure I believe that, Cotton. For decades the Suns led the league in competent management, with stars like Barkley, Kidd and Nash. Now, they're in a rut, hopeless and with a fanbase that once was the bedrock of the NBA and Arizona chipping away. The population dynamics of the past decade will make the Suns sweat buckets, with the Bulls and Laker contingencies becoming bigger problems to control in their home arena.

14. Sacramento Kings. At one point, you could really call Kings fans the best in the NBA. (Did you know they averaged a sellout every year until 2009?) However, even the most blue-blood King fan thinks his team is incompetently run. Vlade Divac is losing credibility as a GM and Vivek Ranadive could be sports' worst owner. They built a new arena thanks to a mayor/ex-NBAer who's also an alleged child molester. I don't blame Kings fans from walking away, but man there are tons still around.

13. Miami Heat. We famously piled on them for leaving Game 6 of the Finals before Ray Allen went on a barrage, but hear me out: Miami Heat fans are underratedly good. Yeah, buddy: the Heat are probably the only competent pro sports franchise in the state right now. YEAH BUDDY. The Heat take care of their own (unless you're Dwyane Wade -- whoops!), listen to their fans, average 19,000 a night and, despite almost no literal talent, are fifth in NBA local TV ratings. Loyalty.

12. Toronto Raptors. Canada saw how far this fanbase can go if they go far -- over 2 million a night for Raptors-Cavaliers playoff action this past spring. Even if Toronto, and Canada, is the home of hockey, basketball can make loud inroads into the sports market. Vince Carter's legacy is just as positive as negative -- the current Canadian basketball player boom has been at the feet of the man once declared "Air Canada." The youth, diversity and connectedness of the fanbase is impressive and can carry this team to new heights.

11. Utah Jazz. In an NBA as brash and politically leftist as today's, I give credit to you, Jazz fan. Utah is very conservative in more ways than just "political," and the Jazz have always been a release valve for Mormons to start cussing at random strangers. They average over 19,000 every season, have high fan retention and attention and have always adapted to an expanding wallet from local Utah sports fans. This is a quietly competitive sports dollar: Utah, BYU, Utah State, Real Salt Lake...the Jazz keep it moving every season.

10. Dallas Mavericks. I said last season, "Maverick fans are yuppies, just like Mark Cuban." I stand by it. While ratings are way down, the Mavericks have managed some semblance of relevance in one of America's toughest sports markets. The fanbase is still urban, split on tanking (at least this year) and still a bunch of yuppies. The Mavs may or may not make the playoffs, but the fact they still average a high attendance total in a bad, bad year is testimony to the power of rings -- and even with a super-political owner like Cuban.

9. Boston Celtics. The Celtics are good again. The NBA rejoices. Boston rejoices, too. Diminutive guard Isaiah Thomas has become just the latest Celtic hero, which bodes well for a fanbase which resonates past New England or even the United States. The Celtics are cultural currency for the NBA. Colin Cowherd put it best: "I'm a traditionalist. I like it when the powers are good...the Celtics are a power." We do, too.

8. Golden State Warriors. Have the Warriors jumped the shark? Stephen Curry delivered a long-awaited title to the franchise in 2015, only to spectacularly blow a 3-1 lead in 2016 and set the internet awash with memes to last a lifetime. Next, they go out and acquire the only man who can usurp Curry in popularity in Kevin Durant. Is it now cool to hate on Steph and love LeBron? It sure feels like it. The fanbase is now secondary to the tragic befalling of their once plucky little franchise -- true S.F. gentrification, if you ask me.

7. Portland Trail Blazers. Although they don't do much on the court, Portland fans are still among the NBA's best. There's always 19,000-plus in the arena, the ratings are always high and competitive, Oregonians still consider it their only pro team (the Timbers' brows furrow)...it's not bad to be a Blazer. However, the lack of appeal to urban-reared free agents will show why a LaMarcus Aldridge will willfully leave the trees for the plains of his native Texas.

6. Cleveland Cavaliers. LeBron did it. He broke the demon of Cleveland sports. The fans used to rock the barn but now they sit on their hands like Bulls fans did post-Jordan. If LeBron wins two more rings the Cavs will forever be on a pedestal in Cleveland. Notice, even if it was Kyrie Irving that delivered the title on the last made shot of Game 7, that I said "LeBron" -- Cleveland can't be told anything anymore. Those fans will have that title written on their graves.

5. Oklahoma City Thunder. No KD, no problem: ratings are slightly down, but ironically LEAD the NBA this year. Westbrook is fun times. Thunder fans are still as passionate, still as loyal, still as honest to themselves as they ever were. It helps that Westbrook is going to get them a playoff berth, even if it feels like "Jordan playing by himself in the late 1980s." Interesting to see how far they can go...everyone in Oklahoma is behind them almost unconditionally.

4. San Antonio Spurs. Living in Texas, I encounter them daily and they are everywhere. They don't really move past Texas, but in the state they'll invade Dallas' or Houston's arenas. I will caution Tim Duncan's retirement and legendary coach Gregg Popovich getting controversially political in blood-red Texas has contributed to their recent ratings declines, but I guess Spurs fans are -- as our president would say -- "tired of winning"? They still have a lot to cheer for, with a sixth ring in sight if the Warriors' three-headed monster collapses this season, but this feels like Meryl Streep's lifetime achievement awards: Spurs fans are always grade-A. Duncan fan, Trump fan or not.

3. Chicago Bulls. The Chicago Bulls are a hallowed franchise in the NBA. What is almost mind-numbing to many people is loyalty: how could you keep following a team that continues to have no quantifiable plan of success? Jimmy Butler, as engrossed in Chicago as ever, is on the perpetual trading block. They already traded Rose. But hey, Jordan. Loyalty is a premium and the Bulls have had one of sports' stickiest fanbases, and incredible luck with the ability to maintain stars (or pseudo-stars) year after year. Bravo...I think.

2. New York Knicks. The New York Knicks are not a hallowed franchise in the NBA. What is almost mind-numbing to many people is loyalty: how could you keep following a team that continues to have no quantifiable plan of success? Carmelo Anthony, as engrossed in New York as ever, is on the perpetual trading block. Luckily for them, Porzingis and the ability to draft a relevant player in the top-six of a loaded draft. The fanbase is one of sports' stickiest, Madison Square Garden is a cathedral and road attendance has always been high: so when will the Knicks match their fans' demand for success and passion?

1. Los Angeles Lakers. This is not debatable: biggest fanbase; most spoiled fanbase; most knowledgeable fanbase; most basketball-savvy city; most overbearing fanbase; most over-hyped fanbase...best fanbase. You probably hate the Lakers. You probably hate Laker fans. Neither care much. The fans stretch far from Southern California or the U.S., are as sticky as any in sports and have remained steadfast despite nine professional sports teams and a plethora of college programs. The Lakers are L.A.'s greatest sports currency, an international brand almost expected to be brought up in a conversation around the world. Not many NBA teams have that going for them.